Those things you forget.......

So when you're in a couple there are a lot of great things that happen. There are a lot of memories that the two of you create also. Unfortunately, when your time together is over, all you have left is the memories that the two of you created. If there are children involved there are additional things that plague your memory bank also. Lately I have had a lot of time to sit and think about these things and its really been bothering me. It is very hard for me to move on when I'm constantly dwelling on old memories. There are so many pictures of me and Dave, and me and Dave's kids and it just hurts to look at them. I want to get to a point where I can look back on those memories and be reminded of only the good times and not the mess we made of things in the demise of our relationship. It's been almost two montsh since we split and a lot has happened. A lot that I'm not very proud of, and a lot that I am proud of. I think I'm making progress, but its been a long road, and I know that it's going to be longer and bumpier. So I just want to know when I'll get to the point when I actually can be healed and move on. I've heard the adage that it takes you half as long as your relationship was to move on. In that case I have a little over a year left... which is kinda discouraging. When I sit back and look at things between me and Dave and how they unraveled I realized that we should have broken up months ago. We had spent so much time together and our lives were so intertwined that it was hard to see the forest through the trees. If we would have communicated better I think we would have been done a lot sooner than we were. I learned a lot about what I want out of my next relationship and what I deserve and what I am able to offer. I just hope that I find someone before I'm dead. It just seems like such a futile attempt. I'm so busy with school and work and I don't want to meet someone in a bar because that seems so cliche. But my options are fairly limited as there are no available men at work or in my classes either. I guess I'm kinda at a standstill. I have removed all pics of Dave from my room so that is helping me move on. But it still hurts to have him out of my life. I would do anything to have him back in my life just as friends. I just miss talking to him and spending time with him and I would do anything to have that back. But right now, I guess its just not in the cards for me. I will have to wait and see what happens.